HEALING: WHY AREN'T I HEALING - I CAN'T SEEM TO LET GO
WHY AREN’T I HEALING?
I’M HOLDING ON TO TIGHT
WHAT ARE YOU HOLDING ON TO? AND HOW IS THIS STOPPING YOU FROM MOVING FORWARD
It’s time to begin the process + journey of letting go. This isn’t a 1,2,3 fix - that requires patience, time, support, and love. If you’ve been holding onto something for years, even decades (whether it’s serving you are not) it will take time to let it go…and heal. The more pressure we put on ourselves to let go, heal, and be free, the more resistance we are met with.
Whenever I get caught up in wanting to rush anything (it’s human nature) I’m brought back to nature. Back to the elements, as Mother Nature is our perfect example of trust, patience, and natural beauty. No one tells a plant or flower to grow faster, or to bloom a certain way - it just does. With a little bit of sunlight, hydration, time, love… it knows exactly what to do. It’s innate, and full of infinite wisdom.
The thing is - we aren’t any different. We just get caught up in our own heads, and often times prevent ourselves from healing, growing and evolving.
When speaking of letting go this doesn’t even have to encompass something grande, large or monumental. This could be a little argument that you had with a loved one, the nagging fear about a certain symptom, past trauma, the person you keep comparing yourself to on instagram to ( unfollow them!), etc… All of these stored emotions, thoughts, and feelings plague not only our cellular health, but our overall well-being. Whenever I look (Physically + Energetically) into someones self, aura, body I look at the whole Self. What energy is this person emitting? What is their body language? What are they projecting, etc… and often times you can just see / sense that others are holding onto “stuff” - Things someone has held onto for years, possible even a lifetime is witnessed in our energetic + physical bodies. Whether they are conscious of it are not (most is stored in our subconscious).
In MY practice, I see this has a major block to healing OF ALL KINDS - PHYSICAL + MENTAL.
For if we’re forever holding onto things that aren’t serving us, we are blocking ourselves from cleansing our physical and mental bodies of “gunk”. We get caught up in the whirlwind of negative + survival based emotions because they are easier, they are natural, and since we are built for survival - we partake in them subconsciously, as what do we want to do? Survive. This is when we can get plagued with doubt, shame, uncertainty, fear, and all the like, as it’s easier to stay the same, stay comfortable, and not step outside of ourselves as back in the day that meant possible death (being consumed by a wild creature!). The thing is we are still programmed that way, and therefore shy away from deeper dives into our selves, cells, and inner most corners because it’s not easy. We weren’t programmed or conditioned to look deep, go a different way, push ourselves to let go - do the work, and tap into our intuition, as our brains are programmed for survival.
But the truth of it all, whether we choose to believe it or not, is that a body drenched in fear will not heal. Fear has actually been shown to downgrade cell regeneration, and can cause us to stay in a cyclical loop of fear based thoughts, emotions, and actions. Even if your eating the healthiest of diets, taking all the herbs, but you live each and every day of fear - the body can’t heal for it’s vibration is far too low. It’s in a survival state, and can’t thrive or reach optimal health. Now of course a little bit of fear is natural / needed, but that’s not the fear we are speaking about or embodying now a days. We are in a 24/7 - sympathetic (fight or flight) based state most of time. And when we continue to live in and from this state we are being pumped full of adrenaline, and cortisol that continues to propel any sort of dis-ease, and illness in the opposite direction. It’s why the vibration of love and joy are critical in any sort of healing of the mind, and body. A different topic, for a different day, but just remember that Love will forever and always heal, where as fear will keep you holding onto the past. We can’t heal in the past, we can only heal in the Now.
If you were to take inventory of your life right now, in this moment, could you list off some things that you’re holding on to?
Maybe it’s a past relationship, trauma from an illness (My personal journey RN), negativity, guilt, envy towards someone close to you, anger towards something, inability to forgive yourself, and the list can go on. As humans we have extremely evolved and miraculous brains and bodies that process, store, compute, work, divide, fire and therefore wire. Whatever fires in the brain, can wire in the brain. Then if we continue to re-enforce this “firing” and continue to “wire” it, it only sinks deeper into our selves, and cells. Trauma isn’t something outside of Us, it’s stored within our bodies.
I also want to take note, that when I speak about Trauma, I’m speaking in a very, very, very broad sense as we’ve put trauma on a pedestal, and therefore don’t acknowledge that sometimes, something that might seem little or like a leaf passing in the wind to an outsider / or the world, but was traumatic to us, shouldn’t matter. We therefore proceed to think we’re bad, incapable of dealing with situations / people, and that we should be stronger, more resilient, and we feel weak for being so emotional. But that’s not the case. Trauma can be anything from being scared of a big fluffy dog (You could of gotten bit at a very young age) to experiencing the death of a loved one. Yes, it most definitely comes in varying degrees, but trauma is trauma, and we shouldn’t negate someones experience of something, as we really don’t know how they are experiencing this world, just as they don’t know the source of their trauma or how to get rid of it.
There are many things we can do to start the release, but below are two simple foundations to get you started on your journey.
First, and most importantly we have to discover the source. Are you conscious as to what you’re holding on to, or is it deep within your subconscious hidden away as it' evokes too much pain and discomfort? Either way we have to bring it to surface. A very simple way to begin is to sink into a theta state of being - this is the place that lies just before sleep ( Delta / Gamma) and after Beta ( Awake / Concscious). When we’re in a theta state of being we are highly relaxed, our bodies are in parasympathetic state ( relaxation) and our bodies set out the signal that we are safe. When we feel safe on a physical / mental plane we open ourselves up to what lies beneath - these could be thoughts, emotions, experiences, trauma, people, situations, and the list goes on. When we are too Beta / Conscious we are living too much in fear, and survival mode, so to delve deeper, we must sink deeper on a body, mind, and soul level. I would suggest playing seem deep healing theta wave music, grabbing your journal to place beside you, and sinking in for a good 10-20minutes, or whatever your day / space will allow. When you awake from this state, immediately grab your journal and write down what comes up, even if it doesn’t make sense right now. Allow your brain to just jump what it needs to. Maybe you’re holding on to something that was said to you in grade 4 that is still affecting your self-esteem, and is dimming your light. We store so, so, so much within our every cell. We need to surface it so we can heal it.
Second, I want you to get in touch with your body. Since most trauma is stored in our cells / physical body we have to get more intimately connected to our bodies. When was the last time you really massaged your body with a beautiful plant based oil for more than few minutes? When you take a shower do you just flow through your shower ritual without giving it a second thought? I want to challenge you to delve deeper within your physical body to get more connected to your self + body. This will lay the foundation for the release of stuff that is holding onto you, as any sort of healing encompassed the body, mind, and soul. We can’t just do things on one plane, it goes deeper. See if you can go deeper with your body. Try giving yourself a beautiful self-massage after the bath or shower, and while your in the shower really try to connect with your cells, and physical sensations of the water falling onto your skin. How does it feel? Where in your body are you feeling pain ( physical or energetic), Where are you storing sensations? As the water falls can you envision the stream of water letting some of this stuff go? This might seem unnatural or strange, but the purpose of this exercise is for you to reawaken, resurface, and regenerate what was once dormant, hidden, or shamed.
What are you holding onto so tightly that’s preventing you from healing?
See if through the above you can surface something deeper that needs to be let go of.
What type of pain is it causing you?
Is it serving you?
Can you let it go?
Do you want to let it go?
How has it been serving you? But it’s now time to say goodbye to it
What is it blocking?
What would it look like if you let go of it?
Are you afraid to heal?
It’s time to let it go. Step by step. Again this isn’t a quick fix, for deeper healing lies in deeper work.
IF YOU'RE LOOKING TO HEAL ON A DEEPER LEVEL. I WORK PRIVATELY 1-1 IN MY PRACTICE, VIA IN PERSON SESSIONS (TORONTO) + VIA SKYPE. LET'S CONNECT - I WOULD BE HONOURED TO WORK WITH YOU ON ANY LEVEL YOU SO DESIRE + RESONATE WITH.