HEALING: WHY AREN'T I HEALING? I'M MY OWN WORST ENEMY
WHY AREN'T YOU HEALING ?
YOU'RE YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY
IT’S NOT WHAT YOU SAY OUT LOUD TO EVERYONE ELSE THAT DETERMINES YOUR LIFE – IT’S WHAT YOU WHISPER TO YOURSELF THAT HAS THE GREATEST POWER.
If you feel unsure of yourself sometimes, I get you. I used to be incredibly unsure of myself at all times... Am I doing the right thing? Will people like what I have to offer? I have terrible acne, is that all people are staring at? Will I be good enough to have my own business, and it goes on, and on. Yes of course, I still deal with uncertainty, but I've learned to channel it differently (use it for good, motivating, to challenge myself, and push myself outside of my comfort zone), and I've done a lot of work to heal past wounds, reprogram old belief systems, dig deep into what's not serving me, and ultimately heal. I'm still human though, and I definitely still get fearful (natural) about building a new workshop, growing my business, public speaking, doing videos, being in the "un-known", and stepping in my worth.
So it’s not all bad, even though in the moment it can be quite paralyzing. Heightened self-consciousness (seeing things differently + self-awareness), anxious thoughts (channeled for the good), an inability to join in (going inwards), and feeling “different” (celebrating your uniqueness) – they’re not at all bad, even if they feel scary in the moment. These inner battles have been my angels at times, especially when I was feeling my worst (physically + mentally). They called me to delve deeper, question my behaviour, patterns and my belief system that was not serving me, and step and own my truth. I had to do the work, and in all honesty, without them I would never have discovered my passion for health, how to practice self-love, developed this blog, developed a unique "healing" style with my clients, and all the wild intensities that made and unmade me, and shaped me into the person I am today.
But a harsh truth remains: The enemies we encounter in life, especially our own inner demons, use the things we’re insecure about against us.
Which means we can’t hide forever. We have to emerge. We have to grow through our insecurities ( we must go through, and not around), or else we will never grow! Hiding, staying small, and fearful can be more draining, and energy sucking than actually doing the work, believe me. Repeating old patterns, thoughts, and beliefs is like running around in circles, and going through the same cycle, month after month, year after year.
At some point we have to free ourselves and take our power back by being secure in who we are – flaws and all, as you will never be ready or perfect to do the work. It's in the doing, that the energy flows...This isn’t easy, of course – it’s a journey. And as you embark, here are some important things to keep in mind:
The story you tell yourself is the story you live by – Everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head.Every day. All the time. And that story makes you what you are – it lays the foundation for every action you take or don’t take. You build yourself out of that story.
Every belittling, insecure thought is unreliable and changeable – Once you become self-conscious, there is no end to it if you don’t address it; once you start to doubt yourself, there’s no room for anything else until you make a change. You’re going to have to let truth shout louder to your soul than the lies that have infected you.
A moment of truth is one of your most powerful assets – Instead of smiling to be polite, just cry when you need to. Instead of laughing when you are nervous or uncomfortable, just speak your truth. Instead of acting like everything is all right, proclaim it isn’t all right – talk about your feelings! Honor yourself. Honor your truth. Be real. This is very, very hard for us human beings, but so powerful.
A little self-focus and self-care goes a long way – Whenever you are self-conscious you are really just exhibiting that you’re not conscious of who YOU are. You don’t feel comfortable being yourself. If you did, then there would be no problem – you wouldn’t be seeking opinions from others. You wouldn’t be worried what others say about you – it’d be irrelevant! When you are self-conscious you are in trouble. When you are self-conscious you are really showing symptoms that you don’t know who you are inside. Your very self-consciousness indicates that you have not given yourself enough care.
The biggest critic lives in your perception of people’s perception of you (not people’s perception of you) – One of the greatest journeys in life is overcoming insecure thoughts and learning to truly not care so much about other people’s opinions.
In fact, you will never make a great impression on others until you stop thinking about what sort of impression you’re making.
Everyone has their own way, which has nothing to do with you. – One big reason we judge each other so bitterly in our society of social comparison and social status: we perceive anyone else who’s doing things differently than what we’re doing as criticizing our decisions. This, of course, is something we need to let go of.
Your greatest beauty is completely out of sight in shallow social interactions. – Outer beauty is only skin deep. And everyone has ugly days – we’re only human. Focus within, not without. Acting right is better than looking right. Realize that evil can look pretty on the outside. Realize what makes you beautiful is beyond looks. You are far more than what can be seen at a glance.
Unconsciousness can cripple you – A human being will be imprisoned in a room with a door that’s unlocked and opens inwards, as long as it does not occur to her to pull rather than push. An open, conscious mind is the key. It is not easy, so don't beat yourself up if you still fall into unconsciousness.
Your struggles have been making you, not breaking you – Sometimes you must go through difficulties, breakups, rejections and painful wounds, which shatter the flattering image you once had of life, in order to gradually discover two powerful truths: 1) Life is not exactly how you thought it was. 2) The loss of one wonderful pleasure is not necessarily the loss of true, long-term happiness and well being.
The more you live through and learn through, the more you will realize how much you don’t know – Research suggests that the so-called “impostor syndrome” that takes place when we suddenly don’t feel “good enough” gets more intense as we grow wiser. The more experienced or accomplished we become, the more likely we are to rub shoulders with ever more interesting, talented and skilled people, leaving us feeling even more inadequate by comparison. So, in a backwards way, if you’re concerned that you don’t measure up, that could very well be a good sign that you actually do measure up just fine.
In the end, you will ultimately come to realize this:
Insecurities have the ability to shape and mold your mind to live with everything that’s bad – like crying on the inside constantly, while smiling on the outside...thus creating endless anxiety. No one wants to live like this. We must be free of ourselves.
I know some of these points can seem super simple at first glance, but often time it's not what you need to do to heal that is the difficult part. It's taking action, not just speaking about something, but the actual doing behind it. The journey itself and your attitude and self throughout it all.
HAVE PATIENCE WITH EVERYTHING THAT REMAINS UNSOLVED IN YOUR HEART.
FORGET ABOUT WHAT YOU THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT AND APPRECIATE EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE.
FOCUS ON THE ONE MEANINGFUL TASK YOU CAN HANDLE IN THE PRESENT.
NOTICE THE SLIGHT, GRADUAL PROGRESS YOU’RE MAKING.
LOVE YOURSELF, YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON ON THIS PLANET LIKE YOU.
HEALING (PHYSICAL - MENTAL - EMOTIONAL) TAKES TIME. BE PATIENT. YOU BUILT YOUR BELIEF SYSTEM + HEALTH OVER A GOOD 20, 30 YEARS...IT WILL TAKE PATIENCE, WORK AND A WHOLE LOT OF SELF-LOVE + WORTH TO FIND YOUR OWN INNATE HEALING POWER.