HEALING: AN UPDATE OF SORTS + SEPTEMBER ENERGY
September, a month where I begin to feel more like myself.
The thing is it's not that I dislike Summer, I love all that it offers - warmth, nature, greenery, holidays, water, lighter energy, but it's just a season I've never truly felt like myself in. I over heat easily, I sweat profusely, more bacteria thrive - and find pollution to be amplified, summer fashion is not really my thing, and it's hard to explain but I just don't feel like myself. Maybe it's the fact that I was born in Alberta, where winters run cold, and to top it off I'm Ukrainian / Eastern European so it's in my blood. My dad grew up on a farm where he had to walk to and from school in -30 C winters. Not to say I don't think -30 isn't cold, it is, but when it's cold outside, I bundle up, push through (Is it weird that I find it highly invigorating?) or that I picture it like I'm getting free cryotherapy? It's a known fact that cryotherapy gets it's benefits from the intense cold - our immune systems build, body detoxifies, and resiliency is built. Cold showers are built on the same premise. Further showing that cold weather is actually healthier for Us. Maybe it's just me, but I find that the cold weather strengthens my mind, body, and spirit.
All of this to say, that I'm happy it's September, not just because it's been a very hot summer ( we had a month of over +35 C every day) but this month brings relief on the energetic weather front, but also relief from a wild summer - personally, and professionally.
This summer brought so much forth - body, mind, and soul that was getting me to go even deeper. Deeper within myself, my body, mind, and ultimately my purpose. For what is made / grown when things are easy? Not a whole lot. We can relish in the good times, and enjoy the fruits of our labor absolutely, but it's in the dark nights, the hard times, pain, hard work that greatness is often built. Not saying that we have to suffer ( that's optional in my books), or that everything has to be "hard", the energy that I'm brining forth is that, it's in the valleys that we step into our most authentic self, as any sort of valley causes us to go within, question, face fears, and look at our shadows. This is especially true when we feel anything physical as we're so connected to our external world. We feel pain, notice symptoms, live with symptoms, are fearful of symptoms - it's so tangible, it's so real, and we begin to worry, lay our attention on the external, as this is what we know.
What if we were to stop, and begin to look deeper within, instead of out? COULD WE HEAL EVEN FURTHER?
This summer was met with a lot of Shadow work, have you ever heard of the term? With all the healing I've done over the past 12 years, I hadn't delved into it, until now.
All of us carry demons inside.
Sometimes we catch fleeting glimpses of them, sometimes we witness them in full frontal chaos, but for the most part, we ignore and bury their existence either out of fear, guilt or pure shame. However, discovering and owning our demons is a vital part of our spiritual journey.
As authors and psychotherapist Steve Wolf noted:
Beneath the social mask we wear every day, we have a hidden shadow side: an impulsive, wounded, sad, or isolated part that we generally try to ignore. The Shadow can be a source of emotional richness and vitality, and acknowledging it can be a pathway to healing and an authentic life.
In other words, the Shadow isn’t just the wounded part of us, but it is also the path towards a more authentic and fulfilling life. In order to repair, heal, and grow on a mental, emotional, and spiritual level, we need to practice Shadow Work.
Shadow Work is a practice that helps us to become whole again. It works on the premise that you must 100% OWN your Shadow, rather than avoiding or repressing it, to experience deep healing.
For example one of my shadow aspects was procrastination, and still is! It's something I'm working through. The thing is I'm highly disciplined (thanks to over 15 years of ballet), motivated, inspired, and love what I do to the core of my heart, but a part of me would still procrastinate, and I would feel shame and guilt over it. As in I love what I do, and I'm so deeply inspired, so why am I procrastinating. I felt like bad for doing so, as I feel so lucky to get to do what I love every day. I don't take it lightly, just as I don't take someones healing journey lightly. The whole point of shadow work though is to not feel guilt, or negative feelings towards it, but to own it, or else it can own you. You will suppress it, continue to feel those low vibration feelings toward it, and what will it heal? You will still consciously / unconsciously do said shadow, and you will feel all the negative emotions towards it, instead of owning it, and working through it.
Now for me when / if it shows up I acknowledge it, talk to it, and just take one step in front of the next. For me my triggers in procrastination lie in my own fears of stepping into the light, this is very clear as I plan / work on my Program ( FOUNDATIONS - more on this soon), and my Podcast (Launching Nov / Dec) - I have everything within my to launch both of these, but I find myself procrastinating out of fear, not because I don't want to get them out, not because I don't believe they will be life-changing to others, but because I'm sometimes afraid of my own light. We all have light, and we can either choose to shine it, or stay small and hide in darkness. Even though it's dark, and we're scared of darkness, it's often easier to stay there, instead of stepping into the light! It's much, much, much harder to embrace the light.
So, yes it's been a summer of shadows! Lots of deep inner work, harnessing new tools for myself, clients, and delving deeper into things, because again E V E R Y T H I N G is and can be a teacher if we let it. I have many more shadows ( we all do, no human is devoid of shadows), and as I continue to grow, and evolve so do my shadows. One doesn't face their shadows, and then let it go, it's work. But man oh man, is it worth it. I'll take working through all of this again, and again as it continues to tap me into my authentic self.
On the physical side of things, too many things to name, but let's just say it's been a summer of cleansing physical + energetic waste that is no longer serving me. This summer I really focused on my liver, and the cleansing of my blood ( lots of greens, cilantro, spirulina), and all the teas / infusions / and healing herbs. We so often think that our bodies can just Be, and do all the work for us, but the sad truth is that our environments are getting more, and more polluted as we live. We're met with new endo and neurotoxins, new viruses, bacteria and all the like, so I believe it's necessary to make sure that we're "cleansing" and nourishing our bodies as deeply as we can, or in ways that resonate with us. This isn't about detoxes, starving, and just living on liquids, but if that works for you, then continue on that train. The thing is, there is no one perfect way of eating / living, but it's critical for us to find our Foundation, to find what works for us - food, herbs, supplements, ways of de-stressing, honouring our bodies, clearing our minds, all the stuff. There isn't a one size fits all, and there isn't one formula for doing so, this makes it harder for Us, but I promise you that as you continue to discover what works for you, and only you, your body will give back to you ten fold. I tried lots of new medicinal herbs, got back into juicing, added more herbs into our life, did a parasite cleanse (which I'd never done before, but intuitively felt it was good to do), we got our Berkey - so I've been drinking a lot of beautiful water, started to eat more fruit - no time like the summer, incorporated a new workout (pvolve) which really works for my body, and lifestyle, and just all over cleansed my body of physical waste, along with the energetic waste that was still living within me.
Let's touch about the mental / emotional aspect as well, as we had some great lessons and teachers here as well. This could be the Umbrella with everything falls under - Our thoughts / emotions / mind / consciousness are the drivers seats in it all. A single thought, can lead to an emotion - which can trigger our brain to release specific neurotransmitters, and the pathway goes on.
In this aspect, it was hard. My fiancé broke his ankle three weeks before our scheduled wedding, and honeymoon. Everything was booked, planned and all good to go - and then BAM, I wake up one morning (he was away at a work retreat) and I get all the messages sharing the news of the accident. The emotions were calm because ultimately I was just overjoyed that 1) He was alive 2) It was only a broken ankle as it could of been a lot worse, but I could feel my nervous system on fire. I felt shaky for a few days, my appetite went missing, and I let myself feel sad about the post-ponment of our wedding, and the cancellation of our honeymoon a few days after the accident, instead of bottling it all up inside (which I've learned is NOT helpful for anyone). It was then all hands on deck as Jacob was placed on pretty strict bed rest for two weeks, and had 4 more weeks of low / no mobility, which meant I did it all. In between seeing clients, and keeping my own business going - I took care of everything in the house, all the grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, making sure he had everything, making him LOTS of extra food as a broken bone needs almost triple the caloric intake, lol, I + it was full-on. Now don't get me wrong, I would do it again in a heart beat, and there is zero ounce of complaint, if there is anything I love to do, it's nurturing, healing others, and taking care of someone, especially my loves ones. So it was embraced, and welcomed, but it also left me a little dry at times. It was hard, plain and simple, which I think is healthy to say, and acknowledge. I'm sure if you've ever had to take care of a loved one, you fully understand, but in all of this, again there was lessons, and teachers weaved into it all. We can look back at it now, on everything and be grateful, and see how, when, and why it all happened, as it truly happened for a reason.
As you can see it's not just the weather that's welcomed, it's also a lighter energy, and a more grounding nature! This summer felt W I L D in all the ways. Good, but wild.
I'm spending this week laying down my September and October intentions - I'm combining them as I'll be taking a break from the 21st of Sept - Oct. 9th for our Wedding + Honeymoon. I feel like it's more fluid, and open linking the two months as one. Pre wedding intentions + post wedding.
Remember that intentions don't have to be some big grande goals, although they can be, they are simply seeds to start planting, working towards, and embracing. Allowing yourself to shine your true essence, and take steps day by day to embody it.
Have you guys thought about your Intentions for this Fall?
I encourage you to step outside your box, write some intentions, and begin to step into yourself a little more, and more. I'm right there with you.
IF YOU'RE LOOKING TO HEAL ON A DEEPER LEVEL. I WORK PRIVATELY 1-1 IN MY PRACTICE, VIA IN PERSON SESSIONS (TORONTO) + VIA SKYPE. LET'S CONNECT - I WOULD BE HONOURED TO WORK WITH YOU ON ANY LEVEL YOU SO DESIRE + RESONATE WITH.