LYMES: PICTURES IN THE RAW
I very rarely post pictures of myself ...which when I think about it, is weird because my first B L O G , all I did was post pictures of myself + clothes for almost 2 solid years (!) It had me thinking . . . when I stopped my other blog, leeselooks, I was living in NYC and it's when I started to feel my sickest. I didn't know what to do really, and felt lost on SO many levels, which is no surprise that the blog fell by the wayside. How could I put up a front behind the camera, and showcase 'clothes' when ultimately the body underneath the clothes needed SO much love. care + healing. Clothes, fashion, all of it became extremely trivial to me. My number one priority was My Health + My Life + Myself. I knew my body wasn't happy, healthy or thriving. It was just trying to survive. That being said, through this healing journey I lost A LOT of self-confidence... A LOT. I became numb to my outside self, because I was doing so, so, so much work internally. There were MANY days, weeks, months where I would look at my outside self and could see sickness in my eyes. I had bags, I looked tired, I knew my body was fighting. BUT I still smiled, I still retained 'a glow' for the most part ;) because of my HIGH intake of nutrition + self love that I was working on. I hardly have ANY photos of this time. I shied away from camera lenses, felt silly taking 'selfies' when they first came out, haha, and just all around felt that if/when I posted a photo of myself EGO was a part of it. Not in the egotistical sense, but in the sense that people will think that I THINK this or that way about myself. When REALLY I did SO much internal work that I just wanted my HEART to shine, my smile, my inside cells, personality, life force. My outward shell was just a vessel that I've been blessed with, nothing more, nothing less. I AM because of my genes from my two loving, angelic parents. I'm just like e v e r y o n e else with a beating heart + soul.
To end this little internal speech + dialogue I just wanted to share, that I will be sharing MORE of me! More photos, shoots, personal images, recipes, what I'm doing + eating, etc . . . My Life really. I've said this before, but it never materialized. Why Now? because I feel it is finally TIME, and that something is pulling me to do so. To share my story, to elicit great change + healing I have to break down barriers + fears. In the end they are only pictures, and it seems quite silly to be scared of them. but heyyyyyyyy fear no more. The photo above is a 'selfie' I posted on instagram a few hours ago! Breaking down barriers already . . . ; ) and this one is from my old blog in NYC.
In any case, this has been on my heart lately, so I just wanted to share. This morning I said to my partner, 'I think I need to read an article on how to take selfies' His response ' Just take the photo!' . . . haha he is right. Just take a photo, or let someone else take it, and LET IT GO!
So here is to a new week, new goals, new Opportunities + love filled days, weeks + photos.
love & light